
Walking with someone through tragedy and grief is no easy task, and that is what makes this move a difficult “sell.” Rabbit Hole is about a couple, who eight months after a moment that destroyed their suburban family bliss, are only just starting to come out of the ‘daze’ of grief, and are wondering how to begin life again. This is where we are introduced to Howie (Aaron Eckhart) and Becca (Nicole Kidman) who lost their son Danny in a car accident but find their grief is driving them apart since they want to deal with it in different ways.
Becca has shut herself down behind an emotional wall, she cannot even begin to think of having sex with her husband, and wants to remove all traces of Danny from their lives. Howie, on the other hand, needs to wallow in his memories of Danny - by keeping his room as it is, and watching old home movies. It is well known that over 80% of couples divorce after the death of a child, and after watching this movie you will understand why. The divide between Howie and Becca is stark throughout - a constant reminder how grief can dislocate and destroy other important relationships. What does a couple say to each other when nothing seems to be the right thing to say? Well, Rabbit Hole bravely explores this territory with some very interesting results.
The strength of Rabbit Hole is that it does not offer cheap answers and pithy sayings. In fact, it shows just how far these fall short in truly helping someone negotiate through their grief. One incidence of this is seen where Becca blows up in a couples therapy group with another couple who seem to be accepting easy answers because of their Christian faith. As a church minister, I cannot tell you how often I have seen people tell the grieving that their loved ones “are in a better place now” and “God must have wanted another angel” but in each and every case, far from helping, these comments only caused anger and further grief. Really, sometimes there are no ‘answers,’ there is just the journey each person needs to undertake, and this can only be done one painful step at a time.
The best part of Rabbit Hole is that it reminds us of this and that there is no right or wrong way of coping with loss, there just needs to be intentional journeying, (hopefully) with friends and family who don’t feel the need to provide answers but will offer loving support. Rabbit Hole reminds us that it is possible to pick up the broken pieces of a life and start again, and that you can honour someone's memory in a way that enhances life rather than detracting from it.
Both Kidman and Eckhart put in strong performances, although it does seem that Kidman’s role is more fully fleshed out and as a result she has something extra to work with. This move is by no means perfect, since there are a few unlikely incidents that occur, but overall its integrity, courage and empathy make it a strong study in human drama.
Three and a half stars out of five for Rabbit Hole.



